I came to Tokyo in 2008 and fell in love with life here because there were SO many local businesses as the local businesses were a place where people could choose what community they wanted to belong to. Cafes were more social and could survive on far fewer customers and people were more eager to talk to each other
The biggest changed I noticed was around the iPhone 4 or 5 when the cameras started getting better and social media started filling up with people taking pictures of every place they went. Everyone became a tourist everywhere they went.
Now there are still local businesses and cafes but far fewer of them and less of them serve as a community. They are all trying to be the hype shop that gets popular on the internet because their chances of survival are much smaller if they don’t generate some hype. The chairs have become much less comfortable and many places have a one hour limit.
I spent a long time blaming capitalism but the more I see, the more I feel it’s a lack of agency. Corporations and governments are just taking advantage of our own unwillingness to lead our own lives. People supporting big and famous and not local, people caring about national elections more than local ones, and maybe most importantly, how we all support the higher education mafia that locks us into the system instead of pursuing real skills that allow us to be our own boss.
People want a top down approach and a top down approach will always lead to us feeling disenfranchised.
The solution is you, creating a sense of community where none exists. It’s that couple that started a business despite all their friends warning them it’s too risky and being smart and original about it. It’s the people who care more about local and independent artists than Taylor Swift, and who favor contractions over hype.
Ok ok this needs its own article now 😆 thank you for giving me something to write about
thank you for providing actionable ideas to work towards third spaces back! I've been so frustrated by the lack of third spaces so it's very refreshing to have something to work on❤️
I also do wonder about two other things. One, depending on where you are at I wonder if political polarization plays a part. I typically live in areas where it’s not so bad (see: agree with me lol) but I sometimes when presented an option to do something just can’t be bothered and I wonder how much that would be accentuated if I did live somewhere way less agreeable. I cannot speak for other people but I truly have zero tolerance for people who I fundamentally view as awful and that doesn’t mean I wish them ill will, I just don’t want to be around them. I think there is less trust amongst strangers more than ever before and again where I live i think is better on scale but man sometimes you go out and people don’t know how to conduct themselves in public anymore and its aggravating.
The second thing is something I’m very aware of within myself. While I would say my social life is pretty decent and if you live on the coast there typically is a built-in shared community and activity that otherwise would not be present., there is even me a travel culture and what I mean by that is a lot of times I find myself not engaging with what is around my home and save that time for trips, so I’m basically like okay when I’m at home I’m to myself and relaxing and enjoying this thing that for the most of us will be our most expensive investment but I’m gonna take 6-10 trips a year and that’s where I go and find that third place. Sure I have friends but it’s rarely a situation that provides for us being part of surrounding community.
I think we may still be social but are not restricted in the way we used to be where we can have places and friends but they don’t have to be with our neighbor or who we work with, and for older people that basically was their friend group option, thus you went out together out of convenience. Its truly why some of our best friends are who we went to school worth or who we work with, mostly because we are forced into proximity.
the parameters within the topic really is wide in a general aspect. still, thank you for sharing the circumstances you are in now when it comes to finding third places around you!
Your mention about dropping by a local cafe really made me stop and think for a while. It feels as though so many cafes are trying to be the next viral spot with throngs of customers just waiting to take the perfect snapshot of the next trendy food item, and it can feel difficult to walk in even after your mental preparation (as an introvert) of starting small talk with the barista.
But then again, I guess that’s also why when the time comes when you do actually engage with someone in a meaningful, albeit short conversation, it feels extra special.
what a powerful reminder that sometimes, taking the extra effort to go and order coffee from a live, in-person barista, complimenting them or asking them about their day, can be an immensely fulfilling experience in comparison to pressing buttons on the starbucks app. this post inspired me to go seek out third spaces to a greater extent, thank you andi <3
this is honestly so real. i spend so much time with my friends online and i barely see them in person! we’ve all got commitments that take up so much of our time so talking online’s easier (which is honestly a bit depressing that it’s replaced irl meetups) but i also find that there’s a lack of places to go so we just walk around aimlessly or do the same activities. we need more third spaces!
Such an important topic and very well put together essay ! ❤️❤️❤️ ive lived most my life in jakarta, indonesia, and the lack of third places is quite depressing 😭 so im with u on this 100%
you're a cousin to me now (i'm filipino hahaha). i'm hoping and praying that despite third places lacking there, you'd still be able to find your community <3.
this is so wonderfully written! such a good take on the topic ❤️
I came to Tokyo in 2008 and fell in love with life here because there were SO many local businesses as the local businesses were a place where people could choose what community they wanted to belong to. Cafes were more social and could survive on far fewer customers and people were more eager to talk to each other
The biggest changed I noticed was around the iPhone 4 or 5 when the cameras started getting better and social media started filling up with people taking pictures of every place they went. Everyone became a tourist everywhere they went.
Now there are still local businesses and cafes but far fewer of them and less of them serve as a community. They are all trying to be the hype shop that gets popular on the internet because their chances of survival are much smaller if they don’t generate some hype. The chairs have become much less comfortable and many places have a one hour limit.
I spent a long time blaming capitalism but the more I see, the more I feel it’s a lack of agency. Corporations and governments are just taking advantage of our own unwillingness to lead our own lives. People supporting big and famous and not local, people caring about national elections more than local ones, and maybe most importantly, how we all support the higher education mafia that locks us into the system instead of pursuing real skills that allow us to be our own boss.
People want a top down approach and a top down approach will always lead to us feeling disenfranchised.
The solution is you, creating a sense of community where none exists. It’s that couple that started a business despite all their friends warning them it’s too risky and being smart and original about it. It’s the people who care more about local and independent artists than Taylor Swift, and who favor contractions over hype.
Ok ok this needs its own article now 😆 thank you for giving me something to write about
this was so beautifully written! thank you for this! tell me when you do write an essay about it. i’d be happy to read 🤍.
😭 it turned into 4 pages, I wasn’t ready for this today 😝 I will have to do some editing, too many tangential ideas worth exploring together
beautifully written and incredibly accurate!! <3
thank you for reading, sariah! <3
so well-written and such good takes! we do live in a dystopic world and it's so hard to find community :( we don't value it as much as we used to
there's still some hope to community! all we need to do is to really immerse ourselves in the realities of where we live in.
thank you for providing actionable ideas to work towards third spaces back! I've been so frustrated by the lack of third spaces so it's very refreshing to have something to work on❤️
I also do wonder about two other things. One, depending on where you are at I wonder if political polarization plays a part. I typically live in areas where it’s not so bad (see: agree with me lol) but I sometimes when presented an option to do something just can’t be bothered and I wonder how much that would be accentuated if I did live somewhere way less agreeable. I cannot speak for other people but I truly have zero tolerance for people who I fundamentally view as awful and that doesn’t mean I wish them ill will, I just don’t want to be around them. I think there is less trust amongst strangers more than ever before and again where I live i think is better on scale but man sometimes you go out and people don’t know how to conduct themselves in public anymore and its aggravating.
The second thing is something I’m very aware of within myself. While I would say my social life is pretty decent and if you live on the coast there typically is a built-in shared community and activity that otherwise would not be present., there is even me a travel culture and what I mean by that is a lot of times I find myself not engaging with what is around my home and save that time for trips, so I’m basically like okay when I’m at home I’m to myself and relaxing and enjoying this thing that for the most of us will be our most expensive investment but I’m gonna take 6-10 trips a year and that’s where I go and find that third place. Sure I have friends but it’s rarely a situation that provides for us being part of surrounding community.
I think we may still be social but are not restricted in the way we used to be where we can have places and friends but they don’t have to be with our neighbor or who we work with, and for older people that basically was their friend group option, thus you went out together out of convenience. Its truly why some of our best friends are who we went to school worth or who we work with, mostly because we are forced into proximity.
the parameters within the topic really is wide in a general aspect. still, thank you for sharing the circumstances you are in now when it comes to finding third places around you!
Your mention about dropping by a local cafe really made me stop and think for a while. It feels as though so many cafes are trying to be the next viral spot with throngs of customers just waiting to take the perfect snapshot of the next trendy food item, and it can feel difficult to walk in even after your mental preparation (as an introvert) of starting small talk with the barista.
But then again, I guess that’s also why when the time comes when you do actually engage with someone in a meaningful, albeit short conversation, it feels extra special.
Thank you for this :) ✨
you are welcome, hector! i’m glad my piece was able to have this effect on you. 🥹🤍
Such an interesting read, thank you!
you are welcome!
YES i fully agree and appreciate all of this!
i’m glad u resonated with it! 🤍
HIMYM fan+1👍
yayy!
Jeff Buckley fan!!!!
YES! we love jeff buckley on this account! 🤍
what a powerful reminder that sometimes, taking the extra effort to go and order coffee from a live, in-person barista, complimenting them or asking them about their day, can be an immensely fulfilling experience in comparison to pressing buttons on the starbucks app. this post inspired me to go seek out third spaces to a greater extent, thank you andi <3
you are welcome! i am glad this piece left a mark on you. <3
this is honestly so real. i spend so much time with my friends online and i barely see them in person! we’ve all got commitments that take up so much of our time so talking online’s easier (which is honestly a bit depressing that it’s replaced irl meetups) but i also find that there’s a lack of places to go so we just walk around aimlessly or do the same activities. we need more third spaces!
yes, hear hear! thank you for this take 🤍.
(Love love love Jeff Buckley!) Great post btw <3 just subscribed :-)
Omg yay! Thank you! 🤍
Such an important topic and very well put together essay ! ❤️❤️❤️ ive lived most my life in jakarta, indonesia, and the lack of third places is quite depressing 😭 so im with u on this 100%
you're a cousin to me now (i'm filipino hahaha). i'm hoping and praying that despite third places lacking there, you'd still be able to find your community <3.